Goodbye, Sasuke
by furubarox2
Summary: Naruto is slipping faster than Sasuke can get to him. Warning: Mutilating of skin, Eventual Lemon   Serious now, but the mood will lighten up eventually. My first story, so please be as mean as you want.
1. Chapter 1: Perfect

**Goodbye, Sasuke**

….

Chapter 1: Perfect

It's all I can do not to drop the knife in my right hand. I'm sitting in the middle of my old bathtub; in the middle of this rundown apartment space, shaking.

I carefully plan it out in my head; the letters.

I purposely push the knife down deep into the top my left arm, by my elbow, carving a perfect '**P**' into my soft, tanned skin. It hurts like hell, but it calms the nervous butterflies in my stomach; a peaceful state of being immediately washes over me.

I can feel myself slipping; slipping farther and farther into this dark abyss. The next two letters come easily as the kitchen knife slices my skin as if it were butter. '**E**' and '**R**'. '**F**' is a little harder, and my consciousness is fading. I take a break to watch the blood spew out of my vein.

The people around me tried so hard to save me, but I can't take the pressure or the bullying anymore. They tried to save me, but this time I won't make it.

The next letter, '**E**', is slowly joining the other four carvings.

My dad hates me, always has, always will. My school hates me. I hate me. The only one who doesn't; or who I thought didn't, is Sasuke, who now avoids me like the plaque. You know the one that killed one third of England in the medieval times? Yea that one.

The thought alone pushes me to cut the next, '**C**', into this chain of letters. One left.

I know this is it, my last breaths. And all of a sudden it sucks; sucks that I don't get to be with him, that he hates me. He was the only thing that kept me sane; standing. I should have known that when he let go, I would let go too.

All these feelings swirl around in my head so fast.

I know I love him. I've known since the day we met.

Maybe if I would have told him, this could have been different, and I wouldn't be in a bathtub, waist deep in bloody water.

Maybe I wouldn't have had the guts to carve the last letter into my barely visible skin; '**T**'.

It's only now that I see just how much blood is coming out of me. I'm scared, but I know that it was all worth it.

Now no one will have to hate me, and I can get what I deserve in Hell. That's the place everyone wishes me to go.

And at least I got to have one good moment with Sasuke before I died.

It really was nice while it lasted. I vaguely remember slipping a suicide note in his bag. I wonder if he'll ever read it. I hope he does, but there's really no chance.

I remember pouring my heart into that letter. I hope he reads it, and sees all my unimportant feelings. Because maybe they'll be important to him someday.

Now there's so much blood, and my vision is so blurry, that I can't think straight anymore. Some may say I'm pathetic, selfish, and that if I resorted to this then maybe I do deserve to die, but they never endured this.

They never saw what I was forced to see.

What was I thinking when talking to Sasuke? I'm so corrupted, no one will ever love me, much less him.

I hate myself so much, and this is what was meant to happen.

But even if I was blind, all I could ever do after this is thank him endlessly, profusely, for that one moment in time when someone was civil to me, and my life wasn't a huge mess.

Nothing ever was with him.

He made me feel like I was someone who mattered.

As all I see is black, I know that all that I ever wanted was to be able to be with him.

I love it that he's the only thing I can think of as I sink into darkness.

I love it that this numb feeling is the only feeling.

I love him. And that's it.

I'm gone.

At least I hoped I was; this time.

.**P E R F E C T.**

….

Wow. I can't believe I just wrote that. Serious enough for you Chris? Stupid Chris. There's really nothing I can say. Edit as you please, and let me know of any concerns you might have. This isn't a one-shot. There will be more chapters. So be prepared. I swear the only thing I can write is depressing stuff. - Alii


	2. Chapter 2 part 1  :  Could Have

Schedule: Updated very Tuesday. Keeps things interesting no? But part 2 will be here in the next couple of days

Disclaimer: I own nothing, and all characters in this work of pure fiction are certainly coincidental and/or owned by Misashi Kishimoto

Chapter 2: Could Have Part one

Sasuke POV

Naruto. A warm, caring, horribly isolated person. I befriended him, but only on a dare from one of my snobby friends.

Yes, not to be outweighed on pride, I befriended this kindred spirit who at the time was buried deep in his own problems.

He looked at me with those surprisingly beautiful blue eyes; and for a second he lifted himself up from his personal hell. Ignoring me, he turned the other way, looking out the window with this far away look in his eyes.

He sat in the back, always the back; in the right corner next to the opaque window. Now that I think about it, he always has.

On his torn up, gloomy desk; which had markings and engravings deep within the old oak, was a worn out looking journal, something that had rarely ever left his side.

On the page he'd turned to, I could clearly make out the bold seven letters. 'PERFECT'.

Under that were a few scrawny words I couldn't make out.

I said his name with a hint, only a hint, of concern. Those shocked eyes turned and stared so innocently at me.

Too innocently for someone like him.

On a spur of the moment decision, I grabbed his soft, tender hands and pulled him up from the desk. He grabbed what little he had and tried to make a one-way trip to the door, but he forgot our hands were still joined; and even when he tried to let go, I held on.

Then, I could have let go, telling him it was a joke. I could have pushed him away, and made a fool of him. But instead something compelled me to take him to a place I always went. Somehow my feet took their own initiative and moved without consent. My feet dragged us out the classroom door, down the hallway, and finally, amidst some screaming teachers, through the doors leading to the front of the school.

We run until he falls; then caught up in desperation, I pick him up bridal style and run the rest of the way.

He, not known for his words merely let me carry him and didn't utter a word. After a while, he laid his warm head gently on my shoulders.

We ended up on the dock of my favorite lake. Naruto had fallen asleep, and for whatever reason, I was content with just holding him. We just sat there on that dock foe what seemed like years.

Me, slowly stroking his cheek, and him, stirring pleasantly in his sleep occasionally. Oh how I wish I could have still been there, holding him.

But as fate had intended it, eventually he opened his amazing cerulean blue eyes in a flutter, and sat up upon feeling my now still fingers on his scars. We sat there for all of two minutes before he uttered the word why. Why he asked? I told him I didn't know.

That's when tears starting pouring from his face. All these unknown feelings surrounded my heart, and what was supposed to be a cruel joke turned into something more than I knew.

I wiped the tears from his eyes with my thumbs. Told him not to cry. Said a friend dared me to talk to him but that I didn't care.

Hearing this only produced more tears to spring from his eyes.

And again he asked why. I told him I didn't know.

He then asked me if I only did this because of what I saw in his journal. Said I only saw the word. He dropped it.

Turns out those scrawny words under it were the only thing that mattered in the mess of it all.

I held him until the sun fell. I knew my dad would kill me for running out of school and staying out past curfew, but I wanted, no probably needed to take Naruto home.

I did. I carried him and his stuff all the way to the run down nearly abandoned apartment complex. A place I would never even have looked at if it weren't for Naruto.

And as he was lowered to he ground by his door, just as his feet and backpack hit the ground, he threw his arms around me, and whispered the words thank you so faintly that I questioned if he had even said it. At that moment, I saw what had to be the most gorgeous smile. He smiled. I gave my favorite smirk. The flirty one.

His smile faded then. "What just happened Sasuke?""You can't do this again. Okay? Please, just for your own good please, please just let me go. I can't get attached and neither can you so please-"

Suddenly I kissed him, completely ignoring whatever it is that he had said. I knew this was too much, too fast, but there was just something about him. All he did was just look at me, and then turned around, walking into that apartment I would certainly dub, hell.


	3. Chapter 2 part 2: Let Go

Let Go

I didn't know much about Naruto's home. But I know the next day he was even more distant than usual. Of course there was the ridiculous rumors and constant questioning from my 'friends' as to what exactly went on last night. But something had happened at home before he had got to school the next morning. And Naruto knew I knew.

It wasn't until I approached him at lunch that I found out the truth.

Everyday Naruto would eat on the roof. Everyone knew, it wasn't some big secret. But I'm certain that the roof had never seen a broom, for it was so nasty that if you had put one foot in the dust, it would have swallowed you whole. But then I saw it.

A narrow path clear of dust and leaves; like it had just been cleared.

I followed it to behind the old elevator shaft. And what I saw had to be the most amazing thing.

Besides Naruto of course. But it was what looked like a little greenhouse; beautiful flowers growing in the middle of December.

He immediately saw me; and stood up from smelling said flowers.

On his collar bone was a big bandage; recently changed. I walked over to him and he looked at me for a second then smiled softly and shook his head.

"You still come back?" ,he says.

I give the sexiest smirk I can. "Of course."

"Why the sudden interest?"

I shrug my shoulders.

He goes back to sit on the ledge; his hips swaying; almost hypnotizing.

"Your journal", I said while quietly slipping beside him, "What were the words written under PERFECT?"

"You sure you want to know?", he says with a sad smile.

"Positive."

He just stares for a long time.

"My suicide note to myself.", he says after the long pause; "There's no one to give it to I guess."

Shock hits me along with instant infinitive understanding.

He lets go of a breath he didn't know he took.

Gets up and moves to the flowers once again.

I move behind him, taking his hand and drawing him up towards me.

These dead eyes, I'm telling you they stared back, and sparked something deep inside him.

But he wouldn't act on it until…

My other hand's fingers caress his collar bone; the part beside the bandage.

"What is this?", I'd spoken.

"My father."; it was not an immediate response.

He reluctantly went on to explain that he had an apartment that technically his father owned, but he himself had paid the rent, and did all the chores.

His father would come in and out, never sober. One time he said he didn't come back for almost six months. Needless to say he lived alone most of the time.

Every time his father would come back, he'd receive a beating, for not having the apartment clean for when he came home.

Said he didn't even argue anymore.

And for maybe a third or fourth time the dreaded, destined word tumbled out from that beautiful mouth.

"Why?"

"Why do you care? Nobody ever cares! They walk in then right out!" ,he suddenly cried into my chest.

Told him I didn't know.

All I did know was that he was more than I could have hoped. Ever hoped.

"You understand Naruto, that's why."

Tear-filled eyes stare deep into my soul.

I smile.

Any other 'relationship' I'd ever been in was superficial and so stereotypical that it wasn't even funny. It was like second nature to me. But with Naruto, there was something that couldn't handle; I had to try to get emotion, try to get attention. Anyone else would have handed to me on a silver platter. Naruto knew the exact same pain, but in a different context.

And even though I had only been talking to him a short while, it felt like I had known him all my seventeen pathetic years of life. What I would have given to make that come true.

We didn't go to class when the bell rang.

Or the one after that either.

I am so sorry. A lot of things came at me at once and it took me nearly two weeks to straighten most of it out. Unfortunately, there are many more things that need to be dealt with so from this point forward I will update when I can. I tried to put this one up as soon as possible; appreciate it. I promise to try to make the updates flow, and if two weeks go by again with no update, please one of you smack me in the head and shoot me a PM. I'm working with no BETA so no promises, but I will try to update more. Again, I'm very sorry. Alii


	4. Chapter 3: Broken

Broken

He's at my front door.

In the middle of the night.

Drenched.

Blood everywhere.

Crying.

Broken.

Initial shock coursed through me again. But after it passed, a towel was given and I sneaked him into my room.

He sat on the floor and kept letting tears escape.

I picked him up and laid him on the bed. Said I'd be back.

Came back (as promised) with First Aid supplies.

Cleaned him up. His clothes were pretty much torn to shreds.

"Can you talk about it, babe?"

"Babe?"

"What you don't like it?", I smirked. I managed a giggle out of him.

The smile returned to a sad one.

"He beat me. He hit me Sasuke! Over and over! Gosh, it's never been this bad….."

"Go to the police, Naruto."

"NO!"

…

"Why not, baby?"

"Because I'll have to live in a stupid foster home again. With the rapist! God, no! Never again!"

That's when I realized I might be in for a long ride.

Silence plagued us for the longest time.

"Baby?"

"Hey, at least that's a step up from babe.", he chuckled.

"When you wanna talk, I'll be here."

When I finished I laid him back in the bed, turned off the light, and laid back down with him.

Whispered sweet nothings to him until his ragged breath finally slowed, and fell asleep with his tender body right on top of mine.

I'll deal with it in the morning.

Hope this will suffice for now. The more reviews, the more chapters. Thanks for reading, Alii.

P.S. I am getting back in the groove of things. Everything got resolved for now at least. Thanks for supporting me! 3


	5. Chapter 4

"Baby, baby. It's gonna be okay. Shhhhh...", I cooed to naruto as he stirred in his sleep for the eleventh time that night. His flushed body whined in distress before finally curling around me once again. I felt tears fall on my arm that was under his head.

"Naru, baby."

Another muffled moan in my broad shoulder.

He's in misery. And im helpless.

He had come to my door at eleven thirty. It was now only three am.

He's hurting, and there's nothing I could do; I was constantly telling myself. If only I knew that was all that naruto needed.

"Naruto, look at me." Tired, desperate blue eyes slowly turn to mine.

"Please, I'm right here. Don't worry. I will never let anything hurt you. Your staying here for a while. Now shhh..."

More tears in his eyes.

Finally, finally, he laid his head on my chest.

He only stirred two more times that night. I woke up first.

When I opened my eyes, his perfect face was right in front of mine. We were sweaty because of the previous night, but I didn't mind much.

Naruto made me so... emotional.

I thought I had given up real emotions a long time ago.

Before I knew it, blue; fucking gorgeous blue eyes were staring right into mine.

I couldn't read them as easily as I could of a couple of days ago. But anyone could tell that at least a hundred different emotions were swimming in his eyes. I found myself reaching my pale hand to his face; my thumb making a light stroke from his chin up his right cheek.

"Your beautiful Naruto."

"No.", he barely breathed.

"Yes baby. You are so beautiful."

"There's the baby thing again."

I gave a deep chuckle.

And that flirty smirk.

His expression turned to a worried one once again. My hand still lingering on his face he covered with his own.

"Sasuke."

"Baby."

"I didn't know anywhere else to go. I'm sorry I bothered you. I really have to go home now. No school today you know."

"No Naru. I told you that you were going to stay here a while. I'm sure my mom can convince my dad. Your not leaving. And it's only six. We can sleep more if you'd like."

Naruto didn't like the idea of staying with me, but it was final. I wasn't going to see him like that again.

"I'd like that a lot."

He knew there was no point in arguing.

"Sasuke?"

"Baby?"

"Thank you."

And before I could say anything else, he laid his head on my chest once again while I pulled him towards me.

But I replied anyway, even though he didn't want me to.

"_Anytime_, beautiful, beautiful, Naruto."

A muffled "Shut up!", was the reply.


End file.
